


what if we rewrite the stars

by byunderella



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Forgive Me, M/M, Student Body President!Woojin, Troublemaker!Jihoon, i hate this so much, inspired by Rewrite the Stars from The Greatest Showman, mentions of abuse, not much on the president aspect because i have no idea how student governments work, one actual scene of abuse, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-29 06:47:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13921611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byunderella/pseuds/byunderella
Summary: jihoon binge drinks his façade because it’s all he’s had, and woojin doesn’t want to watch as jihoon lets life pass him by while he endures the lies everyone else has doused on himafter all, there's always a little truth in a lie.





	what if we rewrite the stars

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [TMYOUTHFW](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TMYOUTHFW) collection. 



> since this is loosely inspired by [Rewrite the Stars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdjR2lvIfJ4), I suggest having the song playing as you read! (check out the rest of The Greatest Showman's soundtrack as well!)

                                                         

 

i.

_it's not up to you, it's not up to me_

_when everyone tells us what we can be_

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

  

“How is it going with gathering volunteers for the game?” Woojin asks as Daehwi strides up to him, pile of duo-tangs in hand.

 

“Not great.” Daehwi admits. “A lot of people just don’t care about sports. Something tells me these guys still have an unhealthy obsession with the status quo. Does that even exist in college?”

 

Woojin sighs, “You have no idea. Whether we like it or not, most of the student body have an underlying grudge against jocks.” Woojin pauses, stopping in his tracks as Daehwi bumps into him, surprised at the sudden stop. He turns around and points to the boy beside Daehwi. “Who’s the mole?”

 

Daehwi rolls his eyes, “We’re a student government, not a secret society.”

 

A whole semester had passed after Woojin’s campaign for president of the Student Union had convinced people to vote for him. Daehwi was his Vice President, and was almost always being tagged along by his boyfriend, Jinyoung. It’s not that Woojin didn’t like Jinyoung, in fact, they’ve been friends since high school. But sometimes Woojin worries that Jinyoung might distract Daehwi from his VP duties. As much as Woojin knows Daehwi is a responsible kid, he also knows that he’s quite literally head over heels for Jinyoung. It’s not like he should really be complaining though, since he had been the one to introduce them in the first place, and even happened to be the one to push Daehwi to do something about his feelings. He just wants to make sure that Daehwi knows how to separate his love life from his obligations as a part of the Student Union. It’s important to Woojin that he does a good job as President, that he sets a prime example for future campaigners and is able to get through to the entire population of the college with his beliefs and values.

 

He’s never had the chance to be an influential role before, usually took the backseat for most of high school. But just like Woojin would push Daehwi when it came to his feelings, Daehwi would push Woojin to do things he wouldn’t do if it weren’t for his motivational best friend speeches, and that included running for president. With his persuading and oral skills and Daehwi’s appealing and friendly nature, they were able to beat their competition.

 

Jinyoung scrunches his face in annoyance. “Gee, thanks. It’s not like we’ve known each other for five years or anything. Who would I even be spying for?”

 

“You tell me.” Woojin narrows his eyes at his friend before turning around and continuing their walk.

 

“Oh also, there was a vandalism occurrence yesterday. An absolute mess of whatever those losers think they were drawing on the side of the Agriculture building.”

 

“Any clue who they were?”

 

“Word has it that Park Jihoon wasn’t seen directly at the scene when the other guys were caught, but he was nearby. Sketchy to you?”

 

Jihoon was known around campus as a bit of a troublemaker, though he was always good enough to never get caught. But if there’s one thing Woojin prides himself in, it’s being able to make a change, no matter what lengths he has to go to. If Jihoon thought he could just dance around campus, stirring up trouble but never getting punished for it then so be it, Woojin is ready to fight fire with fire. “I’ll need to have a talk with him.”

 

“Good luck.” Daehwi retorts, “I’ve known that guy since the beginning of high school and he’s the epitome of everything aggravating in the world. How is it that someone like him is able to be a top student? When did he even have time to study between all of his antics? It’s not fair!”

 

“Alright, _breathe_  Daehwi.” Woojin reminds him, though thoroughly entertained with how easy it is to rile Daehwi up with mere mention of Park Jihoon. Woojin hadn’t personally known him—only heard about what kind of person he was through Daehwi’s constant complaining and belittling. But from what he can tell, Jihoon doesn’t sound like the kind of person he should be wasting his time on. Even if he was good enough to compete with Daehwi as the top student back in high school, it was fact that he was a troublemaker. He had no respect for authority, and Woojin isn’t sure why he had even bothered to go to college if he felt so indifferently about it—he should be taking advantage of the brain he has but he’s throwing his time away on the wrong crowd doing the wrong things. When he thinks about it, it kind of upsets him—Jihoon clearly has a lot going for him, and it’s a shame that he either doesn’t realize it or just doesn’t care enough to do good with his knowledge.

 

“I work so hard for that spot while he doesn’t do anything yet he still beats me.” Daehwi frowns, and Jinyoung ruffles his hair. “Anyways, we need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

Woojin waves them off, “See you.”

 

After Daehwi and Jinyoung leave, Woojin makes his way towards the human ecology building for his next class. It’s a quite sluggish sociology class today, and Woojin doesn’t remember if he had his usual medium coffee this morning because for the entire period he’s struggling to keep himself from dozing off.

 

Maybe it’s the growing stress of having to handle so many obligations at once that has him more tired than usual, but after he leaves the lecture room he’s dragging himself towards the usually empty room just above his class for a quick nap before his next class. The room is brick-walled, almost castle-like considering the age of the building, and quite dark, save for the small trickle of light coming from the one window above the bed of plants.  There are two couches on either side of the room, one of which is occupied by a figure, lying down with his back facing the door. At first, Woojin thinks he should find another place to go, but then he tells himself that he has just as much of a right to be in this room as this person, and as long as he’s quiet then the other shouldn’t have a problem with his presence. He doesn’t look to be awake anyways, so Woojin decides to plop himself on the chaise lounge just next to the door, crossing his arms and closing his eyes. It’s a peaceful thirty seconds of shut eye before a voice is interrupting him, “If you couldn’t tell, I’d like to be alone.”

 

Woojin cracks an eye open, looking around the room for anyone else but all he sees is the figure on the couch, back still facing him. “I’m sorry if I disturbed you, but this is a public place and I’m not making any noise.”

 

“Your presence alone is loud enough.” The figure quips, voice dripping with displeasure.

 

“I understand that you want to be alone—“

 

He interrupts, “If you did then you’d leave.”

 

Woojin presses his lips together, maintaining his patience and composure, “ _But_ , this is a public space and technically, you can’t tell other people that they can’t be here.”

 

“I’m not really giving you a choice.” The boy jeers, remaining in his unmoving position.

 

“And I wasn’t asking for your permission.” Woojin shoots back, though deliberately quiet. He’s not going to let some selfish, entitled guy subdue his poise. “If you don’t like the company then maybe  _you_  should leave.”

 

The two sit in silence for a long while, Woojin waiting with baited breath for his reply but the boy making no signs to give him any. When he concludes that he’s won he closes his eyes again, leaning back onto the sofa. The boy doesn’t speak up for the rest of the time he’s there.

 

 

+

 

 

“Have you made it your mission to show up here at the same time every day just to get a rise out of me?” The boy asks him the fourth time Woojin shows up at what he now refers to as the ‘tower room’, now facing the ceiling as he’s lying on the couch furthest from the door. Woojin still can’t make out what he looks like, neither does he think he’s seen him anywhere apart from this room.

 

“I like the view.”

 

“It’s a dark room with one small window.” He retorts and Woojin thinks he may have heard a hint of amusement in his voice. The corner of his lips quirk up slightly at the thought of slowly beginning to crack at this guy’s defensive armor.

 

“It’s peaceful here.” Woojin gives him a more fitting answer this time, seating himself on the other sofa.

 

“It  _was,_  until recently.” The boy mutters, maybe in an attempt at lightening the generally frigid atmosphere.

 

“You know, I’m starting to think you don't like me being here.”

 

The boy snorts, “Oh, you noticed?”

 

“Why are you here all the time anyways?” Woojin questions, opening his laptop to check his emails.

 

“Why do you keep showing up when you know I want to be alone?”

 

“You didn’t answer my question.”

 

“You didn’t answer mine.”

 

Woojin pauses, biting on the inside of his cheek. “It bothers me that I don’t know who you are.” It’s been four days since Woojin has showed up to the tower room with entitled-boy lying down on the couch opposite of him, and Woojin still has no idea what he looks like, let alone what his name is. And even then, he’s not too sure why he cares to know; he tells himself that as student body president it’s sort of his job to care about every student at this school, especially when they sound as lifeless as this boy does.

 

“Why?”

 

“Well, being student body president has me curious about the students and the fact that you’re here so often is a little intriguing.”

 

The boy doesn’t reply for a while, and Woojin wonders if it was the wrong thing to say. “So you’re Park Woojin.”

 

Woojin lifts a brow at the sound of his name, “You know who I am? Did you see my campaign?”

 

“It helps that we went to the same high school but yeah, I know you.”

 

Woojin sits him, clasping his hands together and resting his elbows on top of his knees. “Do _I_  know  _you_?”

 

“That would be something for you to figure out.” He says, and then unexpectedly, rises up from the couch and turns to sit down, facing Woojin. Woojin’s eyes grow wider in recognition.

 

“Park Jihoon?”

 

Jihoon smirks, “Think you got your answer.” The brunette stands up, for once being the one to leave first. Before he reaches the door he stops and turns to face him, “Oh, and make sure when you tell Daehwi about this he won’t come bothering me about it.” And with that he leaves, both the room and Woojin with a mountain of confusion.

 

The new discovery weighs on his mind for longer than he wants to admit. The longer he thinks about it the more he realizes that he might be losing control over the situation, and Woojin doesn’t like to feel impotent. Then again, it’s not like he’s ever really  _known_  Jihoon, so who was to say that he already had him figured out enough to be able to recognize him when he talked to him? In fact, the tower room was the first instance he had ever even spoken a word to Jihoon, and it’s obvious that it had been quite a surprise to him when he found out. The Jihoon he talked to in the tower room didn’t at all feel like the Jihoon he had heard about in his high school classmates’ stories.

 

Woojin thinks that Jihoon may even be more of an introvert than he had depicted him to be. When he thinks back to high school, he realizes he’s really only seen Jihoon with two people—his friends, Donghan and Hyeob. None of the three had good reputations—the three of them would always stir up trouble—but they did seem to be close. Maybe the universe is giving him some sort of sign, maybe he’s expected to be the one to turn Jihoon’s life around, change him for the better. He doesn’t want to call him an experiment, but Woojin thinks that he could be the one to make a difference in him. And if he succeeded, then it would be good for his reputation and for the school. If the past few days were any indication of the way conversations with Jihoon would go, even now that they know who each other are, maybe making an impact on Jihoon won’t be as hard as Woojin thinks.

 

 

+

 

 

“Didn’t expect you to show up today.” Jihoon says without even looking at the door, and it’s a weird feeling when Woojin realizes how routinely these indirect meetings have become.

 

“Why not?”

 

Jihoon shrugs, “Daehwi hates me, figured the best friend rule opted you out from any interaction with me.”

 

“I thought I should see for myself if you’re as dangerous as everyone makes you out to be.”

 

“We went to the same high school,” Jihoon says pointedly, eyes still fixated on his phone, “I think you already have your answer.” 

 

“I never talked to you once in high school.” Woojin reminds him, though he feels a lot more cautious this time around as he sits down on the sofa across from him.

 

“You didn’t have to.”

 

“I would’ve had to to know you.” Woojin says matter-of-factly, and Jihoon looks up from his phone almost like he’s in shock, but it passes quickly and soon he’s narrowing his eyes at him.

 

“I don’t know what game you’re playing but I’m not falling for it.”

 

“Who says I’m playing a game?”

 

“The fact that you’re here right now is pretty telling, don’t you think?” Jihoon starts, giving him a once over, “Student body president, trying his best to do right to the school. And you’re starting by trying to take down the threats. Am I wrong?”

 

Woojin chews on his bottom lip; even in the dark he’s transparent. “I don’t know what you expect me to see you as but I don’t think that’s all there is to you.” Jihoon raises a brow, and there’s a look on his face that Woojin can’t quite decipher. “I know that you’re a top student despite all of the havoc you wreak, I don’t want to believe that you’re all bad. I just don’t really understand why you do it.”

 

“Why what? Why I pick fights with people?”

 

“Why you don’t think you deserve better than that.”

 

Jihoon’s mouth snaps shut, eyes darting away. “The decisions I make are mine to make.”

 

Woojin nods respectively, “That’s true. I just think you could be so much if you tried. I know you didn’t get those grades through pure luck,” he points out, “You had to have cared enough to try. You’re in university for Christ’s sake, you applied because you  _want_  to learn something.”

 

“Hey Prez, how ‘bout you try to stop psychoanalyzing me?” Jihoon retaliates with an eye-roll. What Woojin finds interesting in particular is that fact that Jihoon doesn’t leave, even when he could. On the first day, when Woojin disrupted his peace he could have left, he could get up and walk out right now. But he’s still here, in spite of everything Woojin is saying and it gets him thinking that maybe all Jihoon wants is for someone to talk to, or someone to listen.

 

“So, what’s your major anyways?”

 

Jihoon looks hesitant at first, like he’s embarrassed, but he eventually mutters, “I’m a Literature major." Woojin nods thoughtfully, but doesn’t say anything. Jihoon casts him a glance, “What? No major reaction? ‘ _What kind of fighter likes literature’_?”

 

“It suits you.” Woojin says, much to Jihoon’s surprise. “I saw you in the library in high school a lot, you were always in the corner reading. Probably shouldn’t have been so visible if you wanted to keep up your rep.”

 

Jihoon clears his throat, throwing his legs up onto the couch and leaning his head on the arm of the sofa. “All arguments anyone could ever have against me would be to attack me on what I wasted my time on instead of school. But I was on top of the class despite it all, and no one could tell me anything. I don’t know about you but I think that’s pretty powerful.”

 

“I think you could be just as powerful without having to fight anyone.” Woojin challenges, sitting up straighter. “Why do you associate physical strength with power?”

 

Jihoon says nothing, only turns his back away from Woojin and curls up into himself. “I think you should go. You have better things to do than sit here and talk to me. You’re not gonna get anywhere, I’ll do whatever I want to do and you can’t change that.”

 

 “Like it or not, I’ll be here again tomorrow, same time.” Woojin grabs his bag and stands up, looking over Jihoon’s closed off figure. “And it’d be nice if you were too.”

 

 

+

 

 

“So,” Daehwi begins, plopping himself onto the edge of Woojin’s bed, leaning forward as a means of looking intimidating, “A little bird told me they saw you in the human ecology building, hanging out in the same room as a certain Park Jihoon.”

 

Woojin sighs, having known that Daehwi would find out on his own sooner or later. He had to give it to the younger, he’d figure out what he needed to no matter how hard Woojin tried to hide it. “Yeah, I just sat in one day to rest and he happened to be there.”

 

“And you didn’t leave when you found out who he was?”

 

Woojin shrugs, “I didn’t find out until a few days ago. By then it didn’t really matter to me, it’s not like he did anything to hurt me.”

 

“But he’s evil!” Daehwi blurts, waving his hands around dramatically, “He doesn’t just fight with words, Woojin. He fights with fists, and is smart enough to get out of it scot-free. He’s dangerous, especially to you.”

 

“How?”

 

“You’re student body president. What would it mean for your reputation if people found out you were being all buddy-buddy with one of this school’s problems?”

 

“He’s hardly a threat to this school, Daehwi. His problems are never actually on school grounds; he takes them away from here.” Woojin explains, “And besides, I’ve got it under control. You don’t think I have a plan?”

 

Daehwi frowns, scooting further onto the bed and resting his back against the wall. “What’s your plan? Do you think  _you_  could change him? He  _hates_  people like us.”

 

Woojin shakes his head in disagreement, “I think he just needs a little push. I’ve talked to him, and something tells me he’s not all that against change.”

 

“People don’t like change, Woojin. And even more than that, people don’t like when other people try to change them. It’s just gonna end in flames, I’m telling you.” Daehwi warns him, worry passing over his face.

 

“Just trust me, okay?” Woojin assures him, grabbing onto his hand, “I promise I know what I’m doing.”

 

Daehwi sighs in defeat, pouting, “You’re lucky I love you.”

 

Woojin smiles, squeezing Daehwi’s hand, “It’s hard not to.”

 

 

+

 

 

Woojin doesn’t know why, but there’s a greater amount of trepidation filling him as he climbs up the stairs to the tower room. The previous day he had been so confident in front of Daehwi about being the one to change Jihoon, but his determination meant nothing if Jihoon kept denying his attempts. And if Jihoon isn’t in the tower room, then Woojin isn’t sure where he’d even be able to find him. If the words he had said to him that day pushed Jihoon away completely, then Woojin’s plan is as good as gone.

 

He gets to the room first, which sparks a greater apprehension in him. He’s never the first one here, Jihoon is always the one in the room before he is. Without getting discouraged, Woojin sits himself down on the sofa, though unable to sit back comfortably as he keeps his eyes fixated on the door and waits for any sound of footsteps outside of the room. He sits hunched over, phone is his hand as unconsciously tapping his feet as he opens and closes his twitter app over and over again.  

 

He looks up to the small window on the wall opposite of him, shining its narrow light into the room and hitting the empty spot on the couch that Jihoon would usually be in, only working to further magnify his absence. Would he even show up? Or maybe he had gotten himself into trouble last night. The various possibilities float around Woojin’s mind, making him even more jittery with every passing second. He wouldn’t have gotten himself hurt, would he?

 

He waits. He waits and waits until the palpable silence of the room overwhelms him. Maybe he’s busy, maybe he’d show up tomorrow. With that in mind, Woojin leaves the room with an empty feeling and hopes that Jihoon will be there tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

Three days. Three school days and Jihoon doesn’t show up to the tower room at the usual time they would sit there. Woojin doesn’t know what he would rather believe, that Jihoon just didn’t want to see him again or that Woojin’s words had provoked him to get back onto the streets. Of course, he’d rather it be that Jihoon wasn’t hurt in any way, but guilt presses at his chest when he thinks about how much he had forced his expectations on him. He didn’t mean to offend Jihoon in any way, he just wanted to show him that he could have such a bright future if he’d just throw away the part of him that didn’t care about authority and morals. Woojin couldn’t think of why he would even need to resort to violence; what exactly was he fighting for?

 

On the fourth day, Woojin still walks up to the tower room, with a sliver of hope that Jihoon will be there when he walks in. And surprisingly, he sees a figure lying on the couch when he walks in that morning. “Jihoon?”

 

“God, you really are persistent.” Jihoon drawls, turning onto his back and cocking his head towards him, looking him over in what Woojin assumes is indignation.

 

“Where have you been?” Woojin doesn’t mean to sound concerned, but the recognition flashes across Jihoon’s face at his tone. “Someone told me you were seen roaming the bad part of town last night.”  

 

“Why do you care?” Jihoon asks through clenched teeth. 

 

Woojin lowers his voice, and almost cautiously says, “You could get hurt, you know.”

 

Jihoon looks at him with a cocked brow, eyes glazed with a mix of confusion and  _maybe_  gratitude, in a way that Woojin thinks is because he hadn’t chided him on his whereabouts solely for the concern of other people but rather _his_  wellbeing. Jihoon takes in a sharp breath, blinking thrice at the empty space beside him before looking back up at the ceiling. “I can take care of myself.”

 

“You don’t have to—”

 

“That’s none of your business.” Jihoon bites, causing Woojin to wince from how quickly he had shot back at him. “Why are you even here? We’re not friends, nothing you say will make me change what I do.”

 

“Then let’s be friends.” Woojin declares, finally moving from his spot near the door and sitting at the end of his sofa.

 

Jihoon scoffs, “And what makes you think I’d be friends with you?”

 

“Why do you always come back here when you clearly know that I’ll be here too?”

 

The brunette sucks in a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose, “You really need to stop answering my questions with another question.”

 

“Maybe you should just answer them then.”

 

“I asked you first!”

 

“So?”

 

Jihoon groans, running a hand down his face, “You know for someone who’s trying to become my friend, you’re not doing a very good job of convincing me.”

 

“Why don’t you want to be friends?”

 

The brunette purses his lips, his voice growing quiet, “I’m bad for you.”

 

Woojin looks him over; no matter how long he looks he can never seem to read Jihoon. He says the most unexpected things at unexpected times, Woojin can’t even narrow him down to a single category because he’s somehow everything all at once. “You do realize that’s you caring about me.”

 

“Do you think I don’t have feelings or something?” Jihoon snaps, “That just because I get into fights once in a while that I’m this town’s resident evil? Have you ever even asked me why I get into fights or who it is that I fight?” Woojin’s mouth snaps shut, unable to say anything. “That’s what I thought. You said you don’t see things in black and white? I call bullshit. You want to make people think that you understand them, that you’re willing to help them. But you’re just like everyone else. You already formed an opinion about me in your head. The first time you found out who I was, you didn’t realize you were just talking to a random student from your high school, you realized you’ve been socializing with a potential criminal.”

  
  
“You don’t know how I feel or what I think.” Woojin grits out between his teeth, mood becoming sour the more Jihoon dissects him.

 

Jihoon sits up, clasping his hands together and leaning over, making Woojin feel more and more exposed by the minute. “Tell me, were you scared?” He squirms under Jihoon’s unwavering gaze, “Did you ever at one point think that I might hurt you?” Woojin stays silent, and Jihoon takes it as his answer. “I don’t think I’m the only one with a false sense of self here.”

  
  
A silence falls over them, and the air floating around Woojin feels substantially piercing. Was Jihoon right? Woojin had always told himself to never let prejudice drive his thought and actions, but the more he thinks about it the more he realizes that it’s exactly what he’s been doing all along. He’s been thinking that all this time he was being admirable for trying to change Jihoon for the better, but that was only after he had decided that Jihoon was a bad person, without even actually knowing him.

 

He was being selfish. He didn’t decide to help him for Jihoon’s benefit, he wanted to help him for his  _own_  benefit. He wanted to feel good about himself, wanted others to see him as a good person who was going to take down all the bad guys.

 

“We don’t do things for other people,” Jihoon chimes in, almost like he could read his thoughts, “We do it to make ourselves believe we’re good people. Do you believe you’re a good person?”

 

Woojin swallows, “I try my best to be.”

 

“Everyone tries, just not in the same way. You wanna know where I got this cut?” The brunette asks him and he shows him the red graze across his knuckle. “From knocking out a guy who beat up his mother and little sister.” Jihoon sighs heavily, clenching his fists, “Maybe it’s not the best way to deal with things, but sometimes it doesn’t matter as much to me what’s right and what’s wrong when I’m against an even greater wrong.”

  
  
“I still don’t agree with what you do.” Woojin tells him, the revelation weighing heavily on his mind, “But I understand where you’re coming from.”

  
  
“There’s only so much you can do with hope and good will alone.” Jihoon concludes, “And that’s the cold truth.”

 

+

 

 

 

One could call him a rebel, in fact, everyone already did.

 

But Jihoon has never thought that everything he did was truly out of spite for the world. Maybe hatred towards specific people is what drives him to do the things he does, but if the end results in a better a circumstance for someone else, then he’s really not too sure why he should feel that bad. Then again, there’s a multitude of things he doesn’t understand about the world. Why is it that people who had never done much wrong have to go through the worst? This is one of the things that Jihoon could never fathom. People could call him crooked all they wanted, all Jihoon cares about is that the people who deserve it are safe. Or maybe it’s that the people who didn’t deserve it didn’t get the chance to feel safe.

 

Growing up he learned to be terrified of people and the pain they could cause. But as the years went by he wondered why he had to live being afraid of the dark while the monsters roamed freely, hiding themselves in plain sight.

 

He had to fight back.

 

So that’s what he did. But then people would call him dangerous and threatening, everything he thought he was trying to protect them from. Maybe along the way he had lost sight of everything that mattered to him, only focused on trying to become a hero. And maybe that’s why he hates the idea of everything that Woojin is; the earliest phase of an inspired kid that loses his spark along the way.

 

Despite everything that had happened the previous day, Jihoon still finds himself going back to the tower room the next day, and apparently Woojin feels similarly, because he shows up too.

 

“We’re both here again.” Woojin points out.

 

“And have you figured out why yet?”

 

“We want something from each other.” Woojin deducts, “I want you to help me understand you, and you want to be understood.”

 

“That’s still kind of selfish of the both of us, isn’t it?”

 

“I don’t think anyone is ever truly selfless.” Woojin admits, sitting at the edge of the chaise lounge closest to Jihoon. “We take happiness in whatever form it comes to us in.”

 

“So I take it that you’re still determined to mold me into some inspiring rebel-turned-role-model?”

 

“Not exactly,” Jihoon watches as Woojin scoots back onto the sofa, looking more comfortable than he has in a while, “More like I’m determined to get you to be the person you want to be.”

 

Jihoon lifts a brow, “And who is that?”

  
  
“I saw you looking at a flyer posted on the bulletin board outside the info desk yesterday. You’re a writer, aren’t you?”

 

Jihoon blinks twice, shifting uncomfortably. He’d only been standing near the board while attempting to get his earphones out of his backpack, but the poster caught his eye. It’s not like he was even planning to do anything about it anyways, he was merely looking. “Well I’m a literature major so it’s kind of fitting, isn’t it?”

  
  
“You were thinking about entering the short story contest.” Woojin continues, “Are you going to?”

 

“I don’t see why I should.” Jihoon tries to say indifferently, but he knows the look in his eyes is probably suggesting something different, he doesn’t even have to see himself to know, “I’ve never been particularly good at the things I’m good at anyways.”

  
  
“How would you know if you’re the only one who’s ever judged that?”

  
  
“Shouldn’t my judgment be the only thing that matters?”

 

“Not when you won’t allow yourself anything but criticism.” Woojin says matter-of-factly. If there’s one word that describes Jihoon perfectly, it would be consistent. And that included consistently putting down his work, never accepting _good_ because that was hardly ever the best choice on a Likert scale. But that’s all his work ever was, just  _good_. That wouldn’t get him anywhere. “Don’t be hard on yourself. Even the best writers had to start somewhere, but they didn’t become who they are just by sitting around doing nothing.”

  
“Alright Prez, tone it down with the inspirational speeches.” Jihoon states, though he softens up just a tiny bit. “I appreciate the thought but I don’t really feel like listening to your Ted talk right now.” Woojin scoffs. “Besides, I’m fine just studying literature.”

 

“Hey, you said it yourself, we do things that benefit us. Is it wrong to be greedy sometimes?”

  
  
Jihoon dwells on it for a long while. When he thinks about it, he struggles to find anything he received from anyone he’s ever done anything for. His life consisted of give and no take. And then here Woojin is, someone who’s only know him for technically all of a week and he’s already overwhelmed by how much he’s trying for him. He tries so hard to tell himself that Woojin is only doing it for his image as president, but even so, it’s more generosity than he’s ever been given, and all he’s done so far is reprimand him for it. Is there really anything wrong with being greedy sometimes?

  
  
Jihoon sighs heavily, “I’ll think about it.”

 

Woojin cracks a smile, “That’s all I wanted.”

 

+

 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay hanging around with him?” Daehwi asks, voice laced with concern. Woojin knows why he’d be worried, but he thinks he’s proved by now that he can handle himself.

 

“Daehwi, really, you don’t have to worry about me. I have you remember?”

 

Daehwi pouts, but it’s clear he’s being persuaded, “I  _am_  wonderful, aren’t I?”

 

Woojin snorts, slinging an arm around Daehwi’s shoulder and then putting him in a headlock, “Alright, don’t push it.”

 

“Ow! Woojin!” Daehwi flails his arms out, attempting to free himself from Woojin’s hold. Just then, Jinyoung walks into the room.

 

“Woojin if you break my boyfriend’s bones again I’m gonna have to sue you.” Jinyoung tells him as he helps Daehwi out of Woojin’s grip and Daehwi wraps his arms around Jinyoung’s waist, cowering away from Woojin.

 

“What do you mean  _again_? I’ve never broken his bones before!”

 

“The soreness in my arm says otherwise.” Daehwi jeers, rubbing the back of his neck.

  
  
“So, how are things going with Jihoon?” Jinyoung asks him as he unpacks the Chinese take-out he’d brought them for dinner.

 

Woojin shrugs, breaking the wooden chopsticks apart and mixing his noodles, “I told him that we should be friends but he didn’t actually answer me. I don’t think that counts as a failure though so I’m gonna keep trying.”

 

“Are you sure this is about helping the school anymore?” Jinyoung questions skeptically, “Sounds like you’re genuine about wanting to be his friend.”

 

“I am.” Woojin answers easily, much to the surprise of Jinyoung. “He’s not too bad once you get to know him.”

 

“And  _do_  you know him?”

 

Woojin nods slowly, “I’m getting there. And would you  _stop_  giving me that look? I’m not crazy.”

 

“You’re trying to befriend  _Jihoon_.  _Fuck authority_  Jihoon, _I only talk with my fists_ Jihoon. Aren’t you worried? I watched one of his fights firsthand in an alley back in high school, and trust me, it wasn’t pretty.”

 

“If you’re worried about me getting hurt then don’t, because he won’t hurt me.”

  
  
Jinyoung raises his hands up defensively, “I’m just saying, you play with fire, you get burned.”

 

Woojin sighs, “Yeah well, fires can be warm and bright too, don’t you think?”

 

+

 

 

Woojin would have been a little disappointed to have missed his chance to see Jihoon in the tower room today due to a meeting if he hadn’t miraculously happened to catch Jihoon from the corner of his eye from across campus. This would be their first time interacting with each other outside of the tower room, and for some reason it makes Woojin feel a little nervous. The tower room was hardly the best lit room; he’s not even sure if Jihoon’s ever seen his face properly before.

 

After a few beats of hesitation, Woojin calls out for Jihoon, jogging up to him. Jihoon looks up in surprise, taking his earphones off, “Hey, I didn’t get to see you in the tower room today.”

 

“Well, I was there.” Jihoon points out, pressing his lips together in a grim line. Woojin thinks that it might have even been passive aggressive.

 

“Yeah, sorry, I had a meeting right after my class.”

 

“No need to apologize, Prez.” Jihoon assures him, “It’s not like our meetings are important, we’re not even friends.”

 

“Yes we are.” Woojin says matter-of-factly.

 

Jihoon raises a brow, “Says who?”

 

“Me, right now. I’m declaring us friends, you got a problem with that?”

 

Woojin thinks there might be a hint of amusement on Jihoon’s face, and he swells with pride. “You should ask yourself that, shouldn’t you? Do you think you can handle me?”

 

“You didn’t reject me so I think I’m doing pretty well so far.” Woojin says smugly, earning an eye roll from the brunette. “So, are you free right now? Would you reject me if I asked if you wanted to go to a café or something?”

 

Jihoon scoffs, “Are you asking me out on a date?”

 

“ _Actually_ , I was just asking you to eat.” Woojin points out, “But what I’m taking from this is that you  _want_  it to be a date?”

 

“ _No_ ,” Jihoon denies fervently, “stop twisting my words.”

 

“Fine, let’s call it a date.” Woojin concludes, clapping his hands together resolutely.

 

Jihoon glares him down, “You just decided to become my friend a minute ago, this isn’t a date.”

 

“Well now I’m calling you a friend that I’m taking out on a date, so let’s go.” Woojin doesn’t even wait for a response before taking a hold of Jihoon’s elbow and dragging him along in the opposite direction, towards the gates of the school.

 

“This could be considered kidnapping, you know.” Jihoon grumbles, though he doesn’t make any move to leave.

 

“I don’t see Mr. Right Hook doing anything about it though.” Woojin retaliates haughtily, “Just say you want to spend time with me, I won’t judge you.”

 

“You are impossible.”  

 

 

 

 

Woojin learns that Jihoon is more of a chocolate person than a coffee person, judging by the large chocolate milkshake sitting in front of him, as opposed to Woojin’s small iced coffee. “So, I’m guessing your blood is more than half sugar?” Woojin comments as Jihoon has his straw in mouth for probably a few minutes at least.

 

Jihoon glowers at him, finally releasing the straw from his mouth. “I don’t remember asking for your observation.”

 

“Wow, okay, I take it back. Definitely half salt, not healthy.” He’s not quick enough to dodge the swift kick Jihoon makes to his shin under the table.

 

“My sodium intake is just fine, mom.” Jihoon quips, before taking a bite of his sandwich.

 

Woojin can’t help but smile; how could  _anyone_  be scared of Jihoon? Not only is he easy to rile up, he  _pouts_  when he’s being teased. His hair is adorably tousled and he’s in a soft purple hoodie for crying out loud, he’s adorable.  _This_  is the guy who gets into fights? Woojin just can’t see it.

 

He notices Jihoon shifting uncomfortably, glancing warily at him, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

Woojin props himself on his hand, tilting his head and searching Jihoon’s face, “You just.. objectively looking at you doesn’t make me think you’d be a troublemaker.”

 

Jihoon puffs his cheeks out, “Easier to trick people that way.” 

 

Woojin nods stiffly, “Now I see why that would be scary.”

 

“What, you don’t think I look scary?”

 

“I think you’re a cute harmless bunny at most.” Woojin suggests, “One that secretly bites, but still, you’re a bunny.”

 

Jihoon furrows his brows, “I’m not a bunny.”

 

That cracks a mischievous grin out of him, “I think I should rename you Fluffles.”

 

“You call me that again and I’ll break your legs.” Jihoon deadpans, waving his fork threateningly in his face before stabbing at a strawberry ( _Woojin_ ’s strawberry, to be exact) and shoving it in his mouth. “So, did you have any specific motive for inviting me out today?”

 

Woojin frowns, “No, I told you, we’re friends now.”

 

Jihoon doesn’t look up from the table, poking his fork at an empty spot on the plate multiple times before speaking up, “Is that genuine?”

 

“Why wouldn’t it be? My status as president doesn’t dictate who I can and can’t be friends with.”

 

Jihoon shrugs, still hunched over, guarded. “Usually people want something from me, protection, or someone for me to teach a lesson to.”

 

“The only thing I want from you is for you to stop stealing my strawberries.” Woojin swats Jihoon’s hand away from his bowl of fruits, dragging back towards him. “I’m very protective of my fruits, you know.”

 

Jihoon mouth hangs agape for a minute, and then he breaks into a chuckle, surprising Woojin this time. He relaxes a little, slouching back into his seat, “Fine, I’ll leave your strawberries alone if you give me the other half of your sandwich.”

 

“Deal.”

 

 

+

 

 

"I watched one of your performances back in junior year." Jihoon says when they're lying on the carpeted floor of Jihoon's room, currently drained from the amount of shouting they had just done during their gaming session. Woojin looks over towards him in confusion and Jihoon has to clarify, "You were in a band?"

 

Realization hits him, unfortunately, and he's laughing awkwardly at the recalling of his band days that he'd rather not think about again, "Nope, doesn't ring a bell." 

 

Jihoon scoffs at his denial, "I could sing the song for you to remind you—"

 

"No," Woojin declines the offer immediately, throwing Jihoon into a silent fit of laughter, "God please, no." 

 

"I mean to be fair, your songs weren't that bad, actually." The brunette admits. 

 

Woojin groans, rolling over to pull a pillow down from the couch only to yell into it out of embarrassment, "How do you even remember that? Why did you even watch our performance?" 

 

"I was curious about Daehwi's talent," Jihoon explains, "But you ended up being a pleasant surprise."

 

He raises a brow at that, intrigued at the confession, "Pleasant?" 

 

"You're talented, I won't deny that. _But_ , you probably could have done without the sunglasses. They're not as cool as you think they are." 

 

Jihoon manages to roll out of the way in time to avoid Woojin's sudden pillow attack, laughing a little maniacally as he imitates Woojin's self-written rap. "Jihoon I swear to God, I'm going to smash your PC in half if you don't shut up. Why do you even know the lyrics?!"

 

"Jihoon," His mom's voice calls out from upstairs, "come up and eat!" 

 

The brunette jumps up onto his feet, scuffling away from an angry Woojin. "Good luck trying to explain to my parents why you thought it was a good idea to damage my property." 

 

 

 

Woojin doesn't hear the end of Jihoon mocking his rap for the rest of the week. 

 

 

 

 

 

 ii.

_when we go outside_

_you're gonna wake up and see_

_that it was hopeless after all_

* * *

 

 

 

Woojin keeps taking him to cafés and arcades. They go out to get dinner way too often and they play way too much video games together and it makes absolutely no sense that Woojin is able to beat him sometimes. It’s also kind of exasperating that Woojin is genuinely hilarious and all Jihoon has going for him socially is his relatable sarcasm and self-deprecating humor.

 

Jihoon isn’t quite sure how he managed to become friends with one of the most sensible people he’s ever met, and even more than that it’s beyond him how he doesn't seem to hate it. Woojin has to be the complete opposite of him in nearly every aspect, and yet they’re somehow able to get along, and quite well at that.

 

And maybe that’s the driving force, the exact thing that pushes him away. Jihoon doesn’t deserve nice things, he doesn’t deserve Woojin—the proper and admired president—playing favorites with the school troublemaker. Maybe Woojin has known that all along too, because he never lets him anywhere near Daehwi and sometimes it feels like he’s being just a little too cautious around him. It drives him crazy. He hates that he can’t be a normal friend to him; someone he can introduce to his best friend and someone he doesn’t have to feel scared for or scared _of_. He’s not the one Woojin should be wasting his effort on anyways. Woojin is meant to build strongholds and all Jihoon does is destroy.

 

Jihoon doesn’t go to the tower room for the next week. He ignores all of Woojin’s texts and makes sure he avoids all of the paths Woojin takes on his way to and from class. It’s not like he wants to sit around feeling sorry for himself, but without Woojin dragging him everywhere he doesn’t really have anywhere to go. So he stays put in his room, dimly lit from the trickle of sunlight peeking through his basement window, and just sleeps.

 

+

 

 

Woojin knows avoidance when he sees it (or rather, experiences it), but what he doesn’t understand is _why_. Things had been going so well between him and Jihoon, they hung out every day, whether it be in the tower room, at Jihoon’s house, or in various places of the town. If anything, Woojin believed that Jihoon rather enjoyed it as much as he did. He sure looked it, at least.

 

But Jihoon doesn’t show up at the tower room anymore. He’s sent multiple texts asking him where he was or why he wasn’t showing up, but Jihoon hadn’t even opened them. It’s hard to track him down on campus because it’s huge and if Woojin knows Jihoon, he’s going to be taking routes to purposely avoid him.

 

“Woojin!” Daehwi calls out to him from across the hall, jogging up to him. “I just came from the fourth floor and I saw Jihoon sitting outside on the rooftop. Haven’t you been looking for him?”

 

Woojin reacts immediately at the mention of Jihoon, squeezing Daehwi’s shoulder with a quick ‘ _Thanks!_ ’ before rushing to the elevator, completely forgetting the fact that he’s claustrophobic and usually opts for stairs. He holds his breath on the rise up, pushing himself into a corner until the red light above the door reads ‘ _4_ ’, then rushes off of the elevator and down the hall to the rooftop door.

 

When he reaches the door he sees Jihoon seated against the stone wall from the window, looking to be in deep thought. The older is clearly surprised to see him, probably muttering to himself in his head about how ridiculously thorough Woojin is with his persistence, but Woojin couldn’t care less.

 

“Where have you been.” He doesn’t mean to sound as biting and assertive as he does, it hadn’t even sounded like an actual question. But it’s been a week without any word from Jihoon and he can’t help but feel a little irritated, even if he’s glad to see that Jihoon is okay, at least on the outside.

 

“ _How_ do you always find me..” Jihoon mutters bitterly, pulling himself up to his feet and trying to make his way towards the door. Woojin stops him with an extended arm, not wanting to leave the rooftop without answers. Jihoon may be stubborn, but Woojin thinks he takes the cake.

 

“Why are you avoiding me?” He cuts to the chase, words now laced with hurt. He thinks that Jihoon may be hurting too, but he’s doing a damn good job of making it look like he’s unaffected. The older keeps a straight face, looking up at Woojin sharply.

 

“I’m tired of you.”

 

Jihoon looks away shortly after the words come out, staring on ahead as Woojin continues to look at him like he hadn’t just taken a knife to the heart. Maybe his lack of composure is obvious by the way he takes shaky breaths, or the way his voice almost cracks with his next words, “I know you don't mean that.”

 

“You don’t know anything.” Jihoon snaps, keeping his eyes trained on the door. “If you did maybe you’d understand when to back off.”

 

“You think I don’t know what this is about?” Woojin returns bitingly, his voice rising against his will along with his anger. “You’re scared. You’re scared of feeling things you’ve never felt before and having things you don’t think you should have. You’re scared of hurting me because you care.”

 

“Stop deluding yourself—”

 

“Well you’ve got one thing wrong.” Woojin interrupts him, jaw clenched, “You’re hurting me more by pretending you don’t care.”

 

“Have you ever thought that maybe I don’t _want_ to be fixed?!” The brunette bursts out in all of his pent up anger, eyes flashing. Woojin winces at his tone, taking a step back. “I never _asked_ you to help me! You waltzed in all on your own and tried to force your stupid hope and compassion on me. But guess what? I don’t want it, and I sure as hell don’t need it.”

 

Jihoon yanks his arm out of Woojin’s hold, making his way towards the door. Woojin bites down hard on his bottom lip to keep it from trembling, “Never took you for someone who runs away.”

 

From the corner of his eye he sees Jihoon stop in his tracks, and for a moment he has a sliver of hope that Jihoon will cave in and admit it, that they can go back to the way they were and everything would be okay again.

 

But he doesn’t, he opens the door without looking back and leaves Woojin alone in the cold.

 

 

+

 

Jihoon hasn’t seen the sun in days.

 

He keeps pent up in his basement bedroom, goes upstairs in the early dawn before the lights shine through the curtains to bring down food and stays there until he needs to restock and by then, it’s already night. His parents think he’s being a dedicated student without a free minute to spare with all of his studying, but he hasn’t touched his notes in the last few days either. It’s rather pathetic, hiding away in his room the same way he’s hiding from everything he’s been feeling in the last few months. But he thinks that maybe this is the better choice in the long run.

 

By the third day of lying around doing nothing, Jihoon figures this isn’t doing him any good either. He takes out his laptop and opens up a google document—no plan or direction, just spur of the moment feelings. He types down everything he’s feeling, whether it’s in the form of full paragraphs, broken sentences or just random words spewed out everywhere. It’s unorganized and there’s zero structure but it makes him feel just the tiniest bit better.

 

It’s been a while since he’s written something that wasn’t for school, and the longer he stares at his laptop the more he realizes how much he misses it—how writing is the only platform he has to express his feelings, the only time he’s allowed to feel vulnerable and raw.

 

It’s Woojin’s fault.

 

It’s all Woojin’s fault that he’s suddenly hoping for things and remembering everything that used to be important to him. Woojin has been in his life for all of three months and Jihoon has experienced more in the past three months alone than he has in the past three years. It’s too much change in such little time and it scares him.

 

He ends up on the bad side of town again. But it’s different this time around—he doesn’t want to be here; he feels _guilty_  for being here. He’d been out for a walk to clear his head, hopped on a bus and somehow he ended up here, maybe by habit, but soon he’s walking down the streets that normal people are always avoiding at this time of night.

 

Except for one.

 

Somewhere at the corner of a desolated street, there’s a woman and a man yelling at each other. The yelling gets louder and louder until Jihoon watches as the man brings a hand to hit the woman on the head,  _hard_. She stumbles back and hits the stone wall behind her, and at that moment Jihoon sees a young kid, maybe eight or nine, running up to the two of them with a panicked look on his face. Jihoon gets closer, fists clenching as he watches the man push the woman back onto the ground when she tries to lunge at him.

 

When he gets closer, the kid decides to jump in front of the woman, hands held out. “ _Stop hurting my sister_!”

 

Jihoon freezes just inches away from them, and in the few moments he’s stock-still, the man decides to take a shot at the kid. Jihoon feels the blow to his own stomach, painfully forcing his legs to move. He treads up behind the man, grabbing him by the shoulder and spinning him around. He doesn’t raise his voice, but the anger seethes from his words, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

 

“Back the fuck off kid, mind your own business.” The man growls, flinging Jihoon’s hand off of his shoulder. Jihoon doesn’t even give him a chance to turn back around, swiftly delivering a jab to his stomach. He wasn’t even planning to fight today.

 

Jihoon lets his hands fall onto his side, heaving a sigh as the man looks at him enraged, “Hit me. Let them go and hit me.”

 

“For a weak shitbag like you, you sure talk big.” The man doesn’t hesitate to throw a punch at his jaw, and Jihoon stumbles back, a hand coming up to touch the sore spot but making no move to retaliate. When he turns around, he looks towards the woman and her little brother, pointing his head to his left, indicating for them to leave.

 

The woman wraps an arm around her younger brother, spinning him around in the other direction and scurrying off, “ _Hyun, hurry, tell mom to call the police.”_

 

As he watches the two of them scuffle away, the man takes another hit at him, and he goes toppling over onto the ground. Jihoon takes blow after blow, arms coming up to block them. Maybe it would hurt more if he didn't feel so empty, apathetic. And then there’s kicking at his ribs, legs, arms. There’s screaming and cursing, a loud ringing in his ears, and Jihoon just takes it all.

 

 

 + 

 

 

All he sees for a while is white.

 

The rest of the room takes a while to come into focus, but Jihoon soon realizes where he is. Groaning, he tries to sit up, but there’s a woman at his bedside, preventing him from getting up. “Oh, sweetie, it’s not a good idea to move too much yet. Let your body rest. Your mom just left the room to make a call.”

 

Jihoon lets his head fall back onto the pillow, wincing at the pain in his sides, “Why am I here?”

 

“You were bruising pretty badly when someone found you, lying on the side of the road some blocks away from here.” She explains, adjusting his bed. “Your ribs took quite the blow; you’ll need to take these painkillers starting tomorrow. You also have to keep this cast on your foot for a while more, but other than that, there doesn’t seem to be any major injuries anywhere else. You will have to rest up here for a few weeks, though.”

 

Jihoon hates hospitals. From the food to the gown to having to share a room with a bunch of other people. It’s been a while since he’d managed to land himself in one, and he can’t even remember what he had gotten into this time, but it must have been pretty bad for him to wake up in a hospital bed with a cast on his leg. Initially, it’s not a bad thought to be able to just lie around doing nothing for a while, but he can’t even enjoy that because there’s one thing that’s ruining it for him. He cares. He  _cares_  that he’s missing school and falling behind, it genuinely bothers him that he won’t be able to do as well as he wanted to in his classes because he let himself be weak. It’s ridiculous how much he cares but he does, and the regret is eating him up inside.

 

And then he thinks about Woojin, and how disappointed he’d probably be after he found out. It was a bad idea from the start, thinking he could actually be friends with someone like him. He’s always been a hurricane, wreaking havoc on everything in his path. And he doesn’t want Woojin to be caught up in the storm.

 

Apparently it isn’t enough to keep Woojin away though, because a couple hours later Woojin is striding up to his hospital bed and sitting himself in the chair next to him with concern adorning his features. He hates it.

 

“What are you doing here?” Jihoon mutters, shifting slightly onto his left side so he didn’t have to face Woojin, partly because he doesn’t want him to stare at the big purple bruise around his eye, along with the various cuts on his face.

 

“You’re hurt, what do you think I’m doing here?” He watches as Woojin pulls out the table from the side of the bed, setting it in front of Jihoon and placing a thermos on top of it. “Here, I made you soup.”

 

Jihoon tries to push down the lump growing in his throat, “I’m not hungry.”

 

“Jihoon, I doubt you ate the food they tried to give you here.” Woojin’s holds out the spoon for him to take. Jihoon looks at it hesitantly, doing his best to act indifferent.

 

“I’ll eat if you leave.”

 

Woojin sighs, “Fine, but I’m gonna be here again tomorrow, so don’t think pushing me away is going to work.”

 

Jihoon finishes the soup after Woojin leaves.

 

 

 

True to his word, Woojin shows up again the next afternoon, a container of sandwiches in hand. Jihoon still doesn’t afford himself to look at him, turning onto his side and facing the window.

 

“You can’t give me the silent treatment forever.” Woojin says, opening the container of sandwiches and grabbing Jihoon’s arm, bringing it towards the food. Jihoon doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t oppose the food this time—not when his only other option is the stale bread and tasteless soup the hospital provides him.

 

This is how the rest of the week goes, Woojin coming in every afternoon with food and Jihoon eating without sparing him a glance or a word. But Woojin still keeps coming, despite the effort Jihoon makes to keep his distance. It’s infuriating how stubborn he is. What does Woojin have to gain from continuing to be his friend? He’s doing Woojin a favor by not getting involved with his life. He’s a delinquent and Woojin is student body president, they’re just not meant to be.

 

Woojin shows up that night with another thermos of soup, but instead of handing Jihoon the spoon, he takes it upon himself to try and feed Jihoon himself. Jihoon shoots him a dirty look, “I hurt my  _leg_ , not my arm. I can feed myself.”

 

The younger doesn’t budge, just keeps the spoon of soup held in front of Jihoon. When he tries to reach for the spoon Woojin backs away, shooting him a look as he points at his ribs. Eventually he caves in and accepts it irately. When Woojin moves to feed him another spoon, Jihoon holds a hand up to stop him, pushing his arm down. He looks him in the eye, searches for something though he’s not too sure what he’s looking for. “Why do you keep giving me chances?” He asks, “I keep getting into trouble and it’s going to hurt your reputation if you keep advocating for me. Why do you keep doing it?”  

 

“Do you  _honestly_  think I’m gonna put my reputation over your health, Jihoon?” Woojin puts down the thermos, then runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. “I care about you, and you’re gonna need to get used to it, because I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to sit here at your bedside until you get better, and I’m going to stand by your side when you go back to school.”

 

“ _Why_?” Jihoon questions exhaustingly, sighing heavily, “Why do you think I deserve any of this? Why do you keep trying for me? I’m not worth it, Woojin. You’re the only one who doesn’t get that, you’re the only one who actually shows up here!” His volume rises along with his frustration, “My dad doesn’t even show up as much as you do!  _Why_  are you here?”

 

“Because I know how it feels!” Woojin explodes, “I know how it feels to lose control of your emotions, to have more anger than you know what to do with.” The younger exhales deeply, lifting up his hand and revealing an array of cuts across the back of his hand. “This is from shards of a mirror I broke the other day. I don’t take it out on people, but I very well could have if I wanted to.”

 

Jihoon inhales sharply, settling back down against his pillows. Closing his eyes, he speaks in a hushed voice, “Why did you punch a mirror?”

 

“My stress was getting the best of me and I was mad at myself. I’ve always had an issue with managing my anger. It’s gotten better over the years, because I have Daehwi. He keeps me grounded and level-headed, makes sure I don’t do anything I would regret. If I didn’t have Daehwi, I might have become like you.”

 

“Yeah well, I don’t have someone like him.” Jihoon murmurs bitterly.

 

“Why do you think I’m trying?” Woojin asks quietly, “I want to be that for you.”

 

“You’re wasting your time. I’m in a hospital with an injured leg for Christ’s sake.”

 

“I get to decide what and who I spend my time on.” Woojin asserts firmly. If he wasn’t currently engrossed in his animosity, he might have softened at Woojin’s resolve. But that’s one of the bad things about the world, it’s unforgiving, especially to people like him. And as long as Woojin keeps orbiting around him then he’s going to get engulfed in the black hole of misery otherwise known as his life. “You may not believe in yourself, but I do.” Woojin continues, calmer this time. “Can you just let me try?”

 

Jihoon wants to say no, he wants to keep pushing Woojin away from him until he knows he’s completely safe. But Woojin doesn’t just jump over obstacles, he barrels through them with all of his determination and willpower and not even Jihoon can stop him from it. He huffs defeatedly, “It’s your life to ruin.”

 

 

 

 

And sure enough, Woojin comes back. He’s showed up every day, until visiting hours are over, sometimes accepting the silence Jihoon puts them through, and sometimes talking until Jihoon can’t stand his pestering anymore so he answers him just to satiate his obstinacy. It’s not like he can avoid him when he’s practically bed ridden, and it’s not like he’s even doing much to push him away anymore. It’s hard, when Woojin is the only person who’s ever truly listened to him, made him feel like he could say what’s on his mind without being judged before he’s even opened his mouth. He doesn’t want to let go of it, but he feels guilty for trying to hold on.

 

Woojin stays late into the night on a day he doesn’t have any extra work to do, sitting himself firmly in the chair next to Jihoon’s bed despite absolutely nothing interesting going on. He has himself propped up against the bed by his palms, gazing at him with a curious look in his eyes. “If you want to ask something then ask and stop looking at me like that.”

 

The younger opens his mouth, hesitantly at first, but then brings up what’s on his mind, “What happened before that made you decide to resort to violence when dealing with those kind of people? I mean, I get the being mad part, but I just feel like something had to have driven you to actually do something about it.”

 

Jihoon presses his lips together. He hadn’t actually told anyone the story before; mostly because he still feels sort of liable for it. But something about Woojin makes him want to tell him everything, because he listens earnestly. It’s not like anyone else would listen to him anyways, maybe it was time to finally get it off of his chest. “I have an older sister. She’s been studying in Europe for the last few years, but back when I was in middle school we were pretty close.” He stops for a moment to take a breath, a deep vertical line pulling between his brows, “Back then she had a boyfriend who I was never very fond of. He would always get mad at her easily and he wasn’t nice to me either. One night I was in the living room, waiting on my sister to come home because she didn’t have her keys. I heard her out on the porch and I was going to open the door, but when I looked out the window, I saw the both of them yelling at each other.

 

“It escalated pretty quickly and the next thing I knew he was hitting her. He was hitting her and I was just standing there in shock because I didn't know what to do, and I didn’t want to believe I was seeing right. By the time I snapped out of it my dad had come running downstairs after hearing the yelling from outside their bedroom. My sister came into the house holding onto her eye with tears falling and I didn’t do anything. I was taking a fucking martial arts class and bragging to people about being able to take them on and yet I _still_ couldn’t do anything but watch. It bothered me every day, so much that I didn’t talk to her as often because I felt so guilty.

 

“Even now we still don’t really keep in touch, but ever since then, seeing that kind of stuff just riles me up. I didn’t want to just sit around uselessly like the first time, so when I was hanging out downtown and saw someone getting hurt, I stepped up and defended them. I don’t fight people every day, only when I need to. But I guess someone saw that one time and started spreading it around that I was some sort of bully that everyone should be afraid of. They made up stories of me beating up innocent people or being the reason that someone left the school. I didn’t even have to build my reputation, they all did it for me.”

 

When he’s finished telling the story, he’s searching Woojin’s eyes though he’s unsure of what he’s looking for. He doesn’t like pity, or the fact that it’s clearly written all over Woojin’s face, but he can’t stop himself from feeling pathetic all over again.

 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, both you and your sister.” Woojin says quietly, taking his right hand in his own and brushing over the top of his hand with his thumb.

 

Jihoon lets out a shaky breath, swallowing hard and closing his eyes. “Yeah, I am too.”

 

 

+

 

 

Jihoon goes back to school with crutches the next week, walking across the campus amidst the stares and whispers. Really, it’s a wonder how almost everyone on campus somehow knows who he is, despite him hardly ever doing anything near or within the school. He figures what you do in high school really does follow you everywhere.

 

After his class, Jihoon is about to make a beeline for the tower room out of habit, but then he realizes he’s on crutches and the human ecology building is ways away from where he is and he really doesn’t want to make it any harder on himself.  

 

 

 

 

> **jihoon:**  can’t make it to the tower room today, too far
> 
> **woojin:**  oh, let me go to you then
> 
> **jihoon:**  im fine dude I’ll just hang out in the stats lounge or smth
> 
> **woojin:**  where are you right now?
> 
> **jihoon:**  outside the university center
> 
> **woojin:**  wait up for me, I’ll take you to my dorm since it’s just across it
> 
> **jihoon:**  I said its fine
> 
> **woojin:**  shut up im taking you there
> 
> **woojin:**  I have waffles
> 
> **jihoon:**  well I’m not gonna say no to waffles
> 
> **woojin:**  that's what I thought
> 
> **jihoon:**  u manipulative bitch

 

 

The wait is shorter than he expects and suddenly a maybe-too-enthusiastic-for-a-Monday-afternoon-Woojin is bounding towards him and for a second Jihoon is genuinely terrified Woojin is going to knock him and his crutches over. “I have a literal weapon in my hands Park Woojin, do  _not_  knock me over.”

 

Woojin stops just short of him after he yells out the threat, “Alright! Whoa, cease fire.”

 

Jihoon rolls his eyes, following behind Woojin as he leads them across the road to the Student Residence building. “Why do we even need to go to your dorm anyways?”

 

“Because you just said you couldn’t go to the tower room.” Woojin says as if that explains anything. So what if he couldn’t go? Woojin didn’t need to see him to make it through the day, and neither did he. Woojin holds the door to the building open for him as he shuffles inside, “And I want to hang out.”

 

“With  _me_.”

 

“Yes, with you.”

 

“Sorry to break it to you but I’m only tagging along for the waffles.”

 

“Oh, I don’t have waffles.” Jihoon stops just short of the elevator, gaping at Woojin incredulously.

 

“You _lied_  to me about  _waffles_?!”

 

Jihoon tries to turn around and walk right back out the building but Woojin yells out at him to stop, “What—wait, I was kidding!” The younger throws him arms out just as the elevator door is closing, and he ends up lodged in between the closing doors, “Fuck, Jihoon, help!”

 

Woojin freaks out as the metal doors press against him, only to open back immediately after it makes contact with him, and Jihoon is left trying to keep himself from doubling onto the floor laughing at the sheer terror on Woojin’s face.

 

“This isn’t funny!” Woojin whines, pulling a laughing Jihoon back into the elevator with him. “I can’t believe you just  _watched_  me get crushed by metal doors!”

 

Jihoon is still snickering in the corner of the elevator despite all of Woojin’s fussing, “You tell me if you’d honestly not laugh if you watched someone get stuck in between elevator doors.”

 

Woojin kicks at the floor irritably, crossing his arms over his chest and whipping his head to face the other way, “Whatever. I  _was_  gonna give you waffles but now I’m just gonna make you _look_ at them and not let you have any.”

 

He snorts at Woojin’s tantrum, “I’ve never met someone so petty.”

 

It’s a lie of course, because Woojin makes him waffles anyways. They eat like nothing is wrong, like nothing has changed and this is still the them that hung out before Jihoon got himself in this wounded mess. They put on a couple movies and play a couple of games. Jihoon can’t be completely happy, not when the thought of hurting Woojin by staying lingers in the back of his mind every second he’s with him. But a part of him wants to be selfish, wants to let himself be Woojin’s friend because he likes him and he likes _this_. He wasn’t supposed to get attached; Woojin was never meant to barge in and throw him off of his path. But now it’s like he’s become a fragment of his life that he wants to keep intact, no matter how much the other parts of his life crumble. It’s not fair; it’s not fair that the universe decided to throw him a safety rope after he’d already accepted he was meant to swim with the sharks. It’s not fair he’s being filled with false hope for a future he thought he wouldn’t have.

 

It’s suddenly dark outside. Jihoon is sprawled across the empty, unoccupied bed opposite of Woojin’s. “You’re thinking so loud I can practically hear you.” Woojin breaks the silence, lying on his own bed.

 

“You’re hurting my pride,” Jihoon mutters, “I’m supposed to be a mystery but it’s not fun if you already have me figured out.”

 

“I can see it even when you don’t say anything,” Woojin explains, “You’ve been cautious all day.”

 

“Just because I’m here doesn't mean I’m okay with it. I still don’t think you should be hanging out with me.”

 

“So why are you here?” The questions Woojin asks him are simple enough but he always finds himself having a hard time answering. Jihoon sighs, picking at a stray piece of his sweater as he thinks of what to say, “Because I want to be selfish. This friendship only thrives behind walls, when we’re unguarded and out of sight, where we don’t have to worry about what everyone else thinks about us.”

 

He can see Woojin sitting up to face him from his peripheral view, but he keeps his eyes trained on the ceiling. “I’m not trying to hide you.”

 

Jihoon swallows hard, feeling somewhat caught. “The only time we really see each other is when we’re in secluded places, and maybe I don’t like that fact that people have to be ashamed about me. But I stick with it anyways..” His voice gets quieter, “Because I’m beginning to like it better than being alone.”

 

“Is that what you think? That I’m ashamed of you?” Woojin almost sounds hurt, and the growing lump in his throat hurts the more he talks, “Why does it matter that people think we’re polar opposites? Why does anything we decide to do matter to anyone else but us?”

 

“This is bound to end one way or another, Woojin.” It hurts. He presses a hand to his throat, blinking a few times to push down his emotions, “I’d rather be the one to hurt more.”

 

“And you’re gonna accomplish that how? By pushing me away?” Woojin’s voice grows louder, he can feel the frustration, “You think that’s not gonna hurt me?”

 

“I don’t think you understand how important you’ve become to me.” It’s the final straw. Jihoon lets a tear escape from his eye, trying his best to keep his voice from wavering and showing Woojin his fragility, uncertainty. He has to be persistent, otherwise he’s going to crumble in Woojin’s forgiving arms. “You think this is easy?” His hands are shaking and he doesn’t know how to stop, “The world keeps throwing pain in my face and expects me to do something about it because it’s what I’ve always done, it’s all I know. I can’t just sit around and do nothing, the last time I did that I wasn’t the only one who was hurt. I keep getting placed in these situations to remind myself of the one time I didn’t do anything about it and guilt eats me up inside when I don’t.

 

“Do you know how often these things happen? It’s fucking ridiculous how frequent it is. And they always present themselves in front of me, I can’t fucking do nothing. And as long as i continue to be like this then people are gonna continue to be scared of me. No one wants to see the bad guy be happy.”

 

“I thought you were stubborn.” Woojin’s voice is almost down to a whisper, and Jihoon doesn’t even want to think about turning around to face him. He doesn’t want to expect to see something, and he doesn’t want to see it if it ends up being true. “When the world throws you pain, aren’t you supposed to tell it no? Defy it, fling their expectations back in their faces because you deserve everything you want and say  _fuck you_  to anyone who says otherwise.”

 

He hears footsteps heading towards him. He wants to run but he doesn’t know where to go and he doesn’t have the energy to get up. Woojin crouches down next to the bed, placing a hand on Jihoon’s arm. “Look at me.” Jihoon says nothing, just continues to stare at the wall. “ _Jihoon_.”

 

Woojin doesn’t take his silence and sits Jihoon up himself, and he’s too tired to even resist. The younger peers up at him earnestly and it fucking hurts. “It’s not your fault. Stop telling yourself it’s your fault.” He breaks. His vision gets blurry and he can feel the tears streaming down his face. He doesn’t move to wipe them away or hide them, just lets them fall. “You aren’t a bad person for not being able to defend your sister back then. And besides, look at you two now. She’s studying abroad, successful, and she’s okay. And you’re here in university, studying what you love _._  Don’t you think she’s proud? Don’t you think she’s happy that you’ve made it this far? She doesn’t hate you for it Jihoon, she will  _never_ hate you for it. And you don’t have to hate yourself either.”

 

Jihoon draws his legs up to his chest, squeezing his knees tightly against his body. 

 

He wishes he didn't feel so lost. 

 

 

 iii.

_all i want is to fly with you_

_all i want is to fall with you_

_so just give me all of you_

* * *

 

 

Jihoon falls asleep with dried tears on his face in Woojin’s dorm. He doesn’t mean to stay longer than he needs to, hates that Woojin is already up before he is, making him food. He watches him with a fondness he’s never felt before and it’s awful.

 

He groans when Woojin places a plate of waffles on the bed, sitting up and staring at the plate, “We had waffles yesterday.”

 

“You’re lying if you say you’re sick of them.” Woojin argues with a pretty fair point, and Jihoon reaches out for the fork. Woojin sits himself on the edge of the bed, scrutinizing him, “How are you feeling?”

 

Jihoon shrugs, “I never really know how to answer that anymore.”

 

“That’s okay, take it step by step.” Jihoon meets his eyes, chest rising and falling with rapid breaths. If only Woojin could understand how unravelling his gazes are, then he’d know how hard it’s been for Jihoon to keep his stonewalls up.

 

“You make it really hard for me to be mad.” Jihoon admits, slightly peeved.

 

Woojin breaks into a smile, “I try.” The younger looks like he wants to say something, but Jihoon doesn’t know if he should bring it up or wait for Woojin to be the one to say it. And sure enough, he speaks up seconds later, “I want you to meet Daehwi today.”

 

His eyes widen at first, genuinely shocked at the proposition. He tries to pull himself together and scoffs, though there's a fluttering feeling in his stomach that he can't ignore. “Hate to break it to you but we’ve already met.”

 

“I _meant_ I want to introduce you to my best friend, as my friend.”

 

He throws him a skeptical look, “Why does it feel like you’re setting this up just to watch us fight?”

 

Woojin rolls his eyes, “You’re not gonna fight, I’m forbidding it.”

 

“You obviously haven’t grasped how much he hates me.” Jihoon points his fork at him, “What kind of best friend doesn’t know this stuff?”

 

“He doesn’t hate you. In fact, it’s more like he believes you hate him and it hurts his pride.” Woojin says matter-of-factly, “It also hurts his pride that you’re amazing without even looking like you’re trying.”

 

Jihoon scrunches his nose, “I study my ass off, for your information. I’m at home at my desk more than I’m out looking for someone to hit.”

 

Woojin nods, “I guess that most people just assume that of you. But in any case, don’t worry about him. He’ll come around, he loves me.”

 

He raises a brow at the younger, “Quite the ego, huh?”

 

Woojin smirks, holding his arms out and shrugging, “It’s only a given with these looks and my persuasiveness.”

 

Jihoon snorts loudly, turning up the dial on his own sarcasm, “Oh yeah,  _no one_  can resist that.”

 

Woojin pauses, dropping his hands to his sides, “Wait, did you tell your parents you were staying the night?”

 

“ _I_  didn’t even know I was staying the night.” Jihoon remarks, “I don’t think they were even looking for me anyways.”

 

“Uhh, I think your notifications say otherwise.” Woojin leans over Jihoon’s extended legs to look at his phone’s lock screen. “There’s even a few messages from your sister.”

 

Jihoon sits up at the mention of Jihye, grabbing at his phone to find a bunch of missed calls and texts from his parents and his sister.

 

  

 

> **jihye** : bro, are you okay? mom and dad said you didn’t come home last night
> 
> **jihye** : hey answer me please
> 
> **jihye** : I just need to know you’re okay
> 
> **jihye** : call me when you see this, alright?

 

 

Jihoon lets out a harsh breath, raking a hand through his hair. He hovers over the call button for a long while; he hasn’t had a proper conversation with her for years, he doesn’t know how to even talk to her over the phone without feeling like absolute shit. Looking to Woojin for encouragement, he finally presses  _Call_.

 

“ _Jihoon? Is this you? Are you okay?”_

 

Jihoon gulps at the sound of her voice, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie, “Yeah, I’m fine. I fell asleep at my friend’s dorm and forgot to call.”

 

“ _God, please don’t scare me like that! I heard you’re on crutches, what happened? How did you get hurt?”_

 

His eyes dart around the room, not wanting to lie but not wanting to tell her the truth either, “N-nothing much, but I’m okay now, I promise. You don’t have to worry about me.”

 

“ _Is there something going on? You know you can tell me anything, right?”_

 

“No there’s.. there’s nothing going on. Um, I need to go though, I have to catch up on the school work that I missed.”

 

“ _Alright.. be careful from now on, okay? Don’t get yourself hurt again, and call mom and dad please, they’re probably worried sick_.”

 

Jihoon nods slowly, “Yeah, I will.”

 

_“Okay.. talk to you later. Love you.”_

 

His jaw tightens and there’s a pressure against his chest, “Love you too.”

 

Jihoon opts for a text to his mom instead of a call, not really up to speaking anymore. He realizes Woojin had left for the bathroom during his call, and he’s already dressed when he comes out. “Do you want me to take you home to change or do you just wanna borrow some clothes?”

 

“I don’t really feel like going home right now, so anything you have is fine.”

 

Woojin nods, rummaging through his dresser and tossing him a hoodie and a pair of jeans. Jihoon gets dressed and they head out. Woojin insists on walking him all the way to class but Jihoon knows that his is on the other side of campus. “I’m okay, don’t worry.”

 

“Alright,” Woojin lets go of his gentle hold on his elbow, stepping back, “I’ll pick you up after your class. I told Daehwi to meet us at Starbucks later.”

 

“I still think you’re setting us up for a fight, but alright.” Jihoon waves him off and heads towards his classroom, unable to stop himself from grinning. God was he weak for Park Woojin and his stupid snaggletooth smile. No matter how hard he tries to distance himself from Woojin, he’ll always end up running back. For a while he’s known that there’s been something there, it was just never that serious.

 

 

And then suddenly it was, and perhaps, he can learn to be okay with being selfish this time. 

 

 

+

 

 

There’s a tension in the air that Woojin doesn’t really know how to resolve. It’s easy being with Jihoon, it’s even easier being with Daehwi. But being with Jihoon and Daehwi at the same time in the same vicinity?

 

Not so easy.

 

Daehwi is sitting to his left, arms crossed and staring unwaveringly at Jihoon who’s across from them. They're squished into a corner at Starbucks and Woojin is doing absolutely nothing to help ease the rigidness of the air, just sits there with his straw between his teeth, sipping on his drink as he looks back and forth between his best friend and his new friend. If Daehwi notices Jihoon donning Woojin's clothes, he doesn't mention it, probably due to the fact that he's much more focused on coming off as intimidating. It makes Woojin want to laugh because Daehwi could pull his scariest face and still be the cutest thing to him.

 

Woojin releases the straw from his mouth, clearing his throat and trying to put some mirth into his voice, “ _So_ … normally I’d do the whole ‘Daehwi, this is Jihoon. Jihoon, this is Daehwi’ thing but you already know each other.”

 

“Of course, how could I not know the guy who beat me in every class without lifting so much as a finger?” Daehwi returns rather aggressively, with a forced smile. Woojin sighs, face falling into his palms. Maybe he should just admit defeat for now and call it day. They could try this another time, maybe when Daehwi isn’t so high strung over exams.

 

“Actually, I lifted quite a lot of fingers. In fact, I rarely ever left my desk in high school.” Jihoon retorts calmly, sipping on his chocolate drink. “But it’s not like you ever saw me outside of school anyways, or even spoke with me for that matter.”

 

“Then how do you explain everyone saying they saw you downtown almost every night picking fights?” Daehwi presses, though it’s clear he’s surprised.

 

Jihoon shrugs, “Beats me, every night sounds a little ridiculous though, doesn't it? And I thought you were better than getting your facts from rumors. The reason I got good grades was because I studied my ass off, just like you.”

 

Daehwi frowns, leaning towards Woojin and lowering his voice down to a whisper. “ _I’ve never had the lower hand in an argument before I don’t know what to do!_ ”

 

“How about you  _lighten up_.” Woojin grits out though his teeth, eyes widening and indicating for Daehwi to keep talking.

 

Daehwi coughs, uncrossing his arms and leaning forward onto the table. For a second, Woojin is a little terrified of what the younger might do, “So, what do you even see in this guy?”

 

Woojin almost chokes on his drink, spluttering out, “ _T-this is a meeting between friends not a boyfriend interrogation!”_

 

Daehwi holds a hand up to stop him from talking, “I mean he’s such a handful. He’s nosy and rude and really, really dense. I thought I’d be the only one who’d ever be willing to put up with him.”

 

“Hey!”

 

Jihoon snorts, casting Woojin teasing grin, “He wouldn’t stop bothering me until I told him my entire life story.”

 

“That’s not fair I don’t have an ulterior motive for getting to know you.” Woojin throws back, wounded. “And you didn’t _have_  to tell me anything. If anything, the both of you are helpless against me.”

 

Daehwi and Jihoon both shoot him incredulous looks. The younger turns back to Jihoon with a haughty expression, “He’s totally whipped for me.”

 

Jihoon nods, “Same here, completely whipped.”

 

Woojin’s jaw drops, slamming a hand onto the table and standing up after being successfully provoked. “I have never heard anything more  _wrong_.”

 

“Hey, could you get me another pack of sugar?” Daehwi asks sweetly, with that smile that Woojin can never resist. Fuck, this isn’t how this was supposed to go. With a grumble, Woojin leaves the table to get Daehwi his stupid pack of sugar, face scrunching up at the ‘ _Thanks, love ya!_ ’ Daehwi shouts behind him.

 

“You’re pretty powerful.” He hears Daehwi tell Jihoon when he gets back to the table, “You made him cry a few weeks ago.”

 

Woojin runs a hand down his face, he should have known better than to let his emotions peek through in front of Daehwi. “I didn’t cry.”

 

Jihoon looks in his direction, raising a questioning eyebrow. Daehwi snorts, grabbing the pack of sugar out of Woojin’s hands, “He broke a mirror you know, the temper on this kid.” Daehwi clacks his tongue at him, earning a sneer.

 

 

 _“Woojin, just breathe, okay?” Daehwi tries to calm him down but the weight of everything presses heavily against his shoulders and he can’t stand up straight anymore. He always messed things up, in one way or another. He was doing perfectly well before Jihoon became someone important to him, and then it never left his head, the question if he was a help or a hindrance. But Jihoon made it clear earlier that day on the rooftop that he was merely a drawback_ — _a stumbling block_ , _one that Jihoon hadn’t even asked for._

_At first he didn’t want to believe it; he kept telling himself that Jihoon was pushing him away for his sake. But Jihoon’s words kept repeating in his head, so much that he began to have second thoughts about everything he thought he was. He pushes himself into people’s lives by pure willpower and against theirs. He forces his values and morals in their faces and expects them to follow. And along the way they realize they've lost themselves to a stupid president who barely has his own life together. It's evident why people only have business relationships with him._

_He’s hunched over the sink, staring at himself in his bathroom mirror. He hasn’t felt this kind of anger in a long time, he worked so hard to keep himself from getting too riled up so he wouldn’t have to regret anything. But at the moment he feels nothing but hatred towards himself. The walls feel like they’re closing in on him, forcing him into an empty space, to be alone where he couldn’t hurt anyone and no one could hurt him._

_There’s a loud smash as his right fist makes contact with the mirror, a few tiny shards falling to the floor as a trickle of blood flows down his knuckles._

_“Shit, Woojin!” Daehwi exclaims, rushing towards the cabinet for the first aid kit and dragging him out of the bathroom and onto his bed. Daehwi sit him down, muttering words of annoyance and concern as he treats the cuts along the back of his hand. Daehwi frowns as he wraps the last of the bandage around his hand, voice softening when he speaks up next time, “What the hell were you thinking?”_

_Woojin squeezes his eyes shut, the pain replacing his anger after he’s had a chance to regain his composure. “You’re right.. I should have thought about my budget before I broke that. Public bathrooms aren’t really a good place to practice my speeches..”_

_Daehwi snorts, half in exasperation and half in amusement. He stands up after he pins the bandage, taking a seat next to Woojin on the bed. “How about we use words this time?”_

_Woojin nods and tells him everything._

 

Jihoon looks perceptibly guilty when Woojin glances at him again. Woojin nudges Daehwi’s side, whispering, “ _Move on already.”_

 

Turns out, Daehwi and Jihoon have a lot more in common than they thought, which they wouldn’t have known until they actually decided to speak to each other instead of glare at each other from afar all those years. And soon they’re talking enthusiastically and leaving Woojin out of the loop. Woojin sulks in his corner, leaning onto the wall, “Why does this feel familiar..”

 

“Mrs. Sung was so unfair for still counting that question towards our grade! She said herself she didn’t get to teach that because we didn’t have enough time!”

 

“Alright,” Woojin cuts in, having heard enough about high school and complaining about tests that have already been taken and grades that are already on their transcripts, “Enough about academics. I didn’t have you two meet so you could talk about your passion for math.” The two of them roll their eyes at him, “Come on, I’ll drive you both home.”

 

“It’s fine, I can—“

 

“God, you’re on  _crutches_ , Jihoon. I’m driving you home.” Woojin states firmly, helping Jihoon up from his seat. Daehwi concedes the passenger’s seat to Jihoon because he’s ‘ _gonna get dropped off last anyways’_  and totally isn’t going soft or anything like that. But he does take over the Bluetooth of Woojin’s car, sparking a debate between his and Jihoon’s music interests. When Woojin sees Jihoon’s house he’s a little relieved; he’s not sure how much more he can take of being with the two of them at the same time today.

 

Despite Jihoon’s protests, Woojin gets out of the car and opens the door for Jihoon, helping him out and walking him to his front door. He shoves his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his feet, “I hope that wasn’t too stressful for you.”

 

Jihoon shakes his head, “I had a surprisingly good time, you know, after he stopped attacking me for beating him in math back in high school.” Woojin chuckles. “I’m glad you had him, to keep you from taking things too far like you said.”

 

“And.. are  _you_  glad you have me?”

 

Jihoon rolls his eyes like he regrets saying that, but he’s grinning nonetheless, “I don’t know, give me another week to think about it.” The brunette unlocks his front door, stepping into his house and waving Woojin off, “See you tomorrow.”

 

Woojin smiles, waving back, “I’ll have the waffles ready for you after class.”

 

When he gets back to his car, Daehwi has already moved to the passenger’s seat, narrowing his eyes and looking at him inquisitively. “You’re smiling so hard it almost looks painful.”

 

He brings a hand up to his mouth instinctively, unsure of why he feels the need to hide it. He shifts awkwardly in his seat, waving a dismissive hand at him, “Whatever. I’m sleeping over tonight, okay?”

 

Most of Daehwi’s clothes are too small for him, so he settles for wearing a pair of loose fitting sweats that Jinyoung left behind and one of Daehwi’s oversized hoodies. He makes himself comfortable, falling onto Daehwi’s bed and rolling himself into his blankets. But soon there’s a finger poking at him, “Hey, get off the bed you’re sleeping on the floor tonight.”

 

Woojin snaps his head up at his best friend, slightly offended, “What? Why?”

 

When he turns his head he sees Jinyoung standing at the door. Woojin scowls, rolling himself out of the blankets and standing up, crossing his arms over his chest, “Why’d you invite the mole?”

 

“Why are you wearing my clothes?”

 

“He was gonna sleep here tonight too, and you invited yourself last minute so you get the floor.” Daehwi explains, pulling Jinyoung by the hand into the room.

 

“Why can’t  _he_  sleep on the floor?” Woojin whines, but it’s a well known fact that Daehwi isn’t as weak as him when it comes to complaining.

 

“I’m not gonna let my boyfriend sleep on the floor.” Daehwi says matter-of-factly, and Jinyoung has a smug look on his face. Woojin sneers, heading out of the room to get the extra blankets out of the linen closet.

 

Soon he’s settled on the floor next to Daehwi’s bed and wishing he had just went back to his dorm instead, but even being banned to the floor isn’t enough to fuel his energy to get up and drive back.

 

“How did your meeting with the devil go?” Jinyoung asks Daehwi as he’s scrolling through the channels on the TV, slinging his other arm around Daehwi’s shoulder.

 

“Well, I walked in expecting to throw my drink on him at one point, but it was actually.. really pleasant.” Daehwi admits, much to Woojin’s relief. “He’s actually really easy to talk to.”

 

Jinyoung stops flipping through channels to give Daehwi a startled look, “Really?”

 

Woojin scoffs, “Oh yeah, you didn’t believe me when I told you he was cool but your boyfriend says it and suddenly it’s credible.”

 

Jinyoung merely shrugs, yawning, “I trust his judgement more than yours.”

 

“Also I’m pretty sure Woojin is in love with him.”

 

He doesn’t even have a drink to choke on this time but he chokes anyways. “No I’m not!”

 

“Oh please, I’ve never seen you so soft with anyone.” Daehwi points out, “And I know you better than you know yourself.”

 

He feels his face color red, “Okay, but I’m not  _in love_ with him I just.. like him.. a lot..”

 

Daehwi snickers at him, “Give it a month or two.” And then it hits the younger belatedly, as he squeals and rolls off the bed, almost crushing Woojin, “Oh my god, you have a  _crush_!”

 

“It’s not a big deal,” Woojin mutters. He hadn’t even really given it much thought, but it’s always been a lingering realization in the back of his mind for a quite a while now. He likes spending time with Jihoon, a lot more than what could be deemed a platonic kind of thrill. He always just kept it on the low because it’s obvious that it’s painfully one-sided. “Not like I’m gonna do anything about it.”

 

Daehwi frowns, sitting up and finally allowing Woojin to breathe when the added weight of the younger is off of his chest, “Why not?”

 

“I don’t think he’s looking for that right now. If I’m just gonna be a friend to him then I’m fine with that.” He tries to say reassuringly but the moment it leaves his lips the pressure on his chest is back.

 

Daehwi climbs back up into his bed next to and already sleeping Jinyoung, “Well, it’s up to you in the end. But you never know, maybe he feels the same way. There’s always tomorrow to find out.”

 

Woojin sighs heavily, pulling the blankets up to his face. “Tomorrows are unpredictable and too far away.”

 

 

+

 

  

It’s been a while since they’ve been to the tower room together. Somehow it’s different, despite it being the same room and the same two people. Woojin thinks that maybe it’s even brighter this time around, because he can see every angle and feature of Jihoon’s face. Or maybe it’s just the fact that he’s memorized every little detail of Jihoon that he’s able to construct him perfectly in the consistently dim lighting.

 

Jihoon is finally off of his crutches, and to commemorate, Woojin insisted that they make the first place they go to the tower room that Jihoon had been avoiding for weeks.

 

“Do you feel a weird attachment to this place too?” Jihoon asks as he sits down on the couch furthest from the door.

 

Woojin nods, strolling up to Jihoon and sitting next to him on the couch. “It helps that you’re here too, but yeah.”

 

Jihoon makes a disgruntled noise, looking him up and down, “This is my couch.”

 

Woojin shrugs, “This is a public place and technically, you can’t tell me where to sit.”

 

Jihoon reaches out to grab Woojin by the collar, tugging him close so that their foreheads are almost pressed together, “I’m not really giving you a choice.”

 

Woojin gets over his momentary shock, lips tugging up into a grin, “And I’m not asking for your permission.” He releases himself from Jihoon’s hold and adjusts himself so that he’s lying down head in Jihoon’s lap.

 

Jihoon scoffs, flicking his forehead, “You’re ridiculous.”

 

They let the silence fall over them peacefully. Woojin closes his eyes, fingers tapping lightly against Jihoon’s thigh. “I signed up for the short story contest.”

 

Woojin turns over so that he can see Jihoon’s face, “Seriously?”

 

Jihoon avoids eye contact, rubbing the back of his neck, “I mean I have a bunch of unfinished stuff just lying around and I figured I might as well make use of them..”

 

Woojin practically beams, a proud smile gracing his face, “I’m gonna vote for you every day.”

 

Jihoon break out into a genuine laugh and it constricts his heart because it’s such a beautiful sound, “It’s not a voting competition.”

 

“What made you reconsider?”

 

“Well, there was this annoying student body president who approached me a few months ago.”

 

Woojin rolls his eyes lightheartedly, “Oh really?”

 

Jihoon chuckles, “Yeah. He liked to meddle and had a lot of hope for someone like me. And it must have gotten to me because here I am, having hope for myself.”

 

“Sounds like a great guy. Is he still annoying?”

 

“Extremely.” He answers without hesitation, “But I’m also extremely grateful for him.”

 

“Maybe you should tell him that.”

 

Jihoon shakes his head, “Nope, I have an image to maintain.”

 

Woojin sits up, jabbing a finger a Jihoon’s chest, “You are a  _bunny_. “

 

Jihoon swats his hands away, “I’m not a bunny!”

 

Maybe it’s not a good idea to provoke him, but it’s so entertaining that he can’t stop. Woojin reaches out a hand and pats Jihoon’s head, “Good bunny.”

 

Jihoon grabs his hand and twists it around, throwing Woojin into a fit of  _ow_ ’s and  _okay okay I’m sorry let go of my arm_. “One day I’m gonna throw you out this window. “

  

+

 

 

“Jihoon?” In the midst of his studying, his mom peeks her head into his room, “Your sister’s on the phone, she wants to talk to you.”

 

“Hello?” The nausea is there like always, voice wavering with just one word.

 

“ _Hey kiddo. How are you doing?”_

 

It always felt kind of like he was being punched in the stomach whenever he heard her voice. He attempts to inject fake enthusiasm into his voice, “I’m okay, school is a little draining but I’m getting through it.”

 

“ _You were always headstrong, I’m sure you’ll be just fine_.” She says encouragingly, though his heart sinks in his chest.

 

“Jihye,” He begins, “how did you manage? You know, with mom and dad’s confidence in you. Did it ever scare you?”

 

“ _Oh trust me, I was terrified in my first year at university. I had no idea what I wanted to do_.” She admits to his surprise.

 

“Really? But you’re so successful, I mean, you’re studying in Europe. You always seemed so put together and sure of yourself.”

 

He hears her faint laughter, “ _It’s been hard on me too, but I’ve always had to keep up the act because I’m the first born and I felt like I needed to set a good example for you_.” He feels a little guilty when he hears it, he’s practically idolized her since he was a kid, but he had no idea she was struggling.

 

Jihoon swallows, starting apprehensively, “Have I ever disappointed you?”

 

“ _What? Of course not! I’ve always been proud of you_.” She says it with so much assurance that it almost makes him want to burst out in tears, “ _Mom told me you won that short story contest last month.”_

 

“O-Oh, that.” He stammers, a little embarrassed, “Yeah, it’s not that big of a deal though.”

 

“ _It’s huge! Don’t downplay your achievements, Jihoon. You’re talented, don’t forget that.”_  Jihye had always been his biggest supporter, read all of his stories and always cheered him on. It hadn't hit him until now how much he misses her. All the wasted time he’d spent avoiding her because he felt guilty, all of the remorse he had harbored for years faded with her words _. I’ve always been proud of you._

 

“Thanks.” He whispers, trying to hold back his tears.

 

“ _Hey, I’m sorry I don’t visit much, I hope you’re not mad_.”

 

“No, it’s fine, really.” He assures her, “As long as you’re happy then that’s all that matters. Maybe I should fly out and visit you instead.”

 

Her laugh is full of mirth, “That’d be amazing, I’d be the best tour guide!”

 

Jihoon finally smiles, “I bet you would.”

 

“ _I miss you lots_.” She says softly, “ _I have to go, but call me whenever you want, okay?”_

 

Jihoon takes in a deep breath, chewing on his bottom lip, “Okay, take care.”

 

 

+

  

 

Jihoon laughs as he watches Woojin throw punches at the empty air in front of him, with all of his fancy steps and loud shouts. Woojin had asked him to teach him a few self-defense moves, but maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to do this in Woojin’s dorm, because there were other people on the other sides of these walls and Woojin sounds like he’s under attack.

 

He stands up, putting a hand on Woojin’s shoulder, “It’s okay to be weak, Woojin. Not all of us can be quick on our feet—“

 

All too quickly, he’s unable to process that he’s being lifted in the air, strong hands grabbing at him and then Woojin is throwing him over his shoulder onto the bed. He’s still shock when he hits the bed, staring up at the ceiling in disbelief. Woojin comes into his line of vision with a stupid grin on his face, “What’s that you said about not being strong?”

 

Jihoon springs up, eyes still wide in bewilderment. “I—I was gonna offer to pick you up after your late classes and walk you safely back to your dorm but on second thought, maybe  _you_  should be the one walking  _me_.”

 

Woojin snickers, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hey, you wanna grab something to eat?”

 

He smiles teasingly, “Are you asking me out on a date?”

 

Woojin doesn’t look away and Jihoon thinks he can see a glint of sincerity in his eyes, “Yeah, I am.”

 

Jihoon blinks, caught off guard with the lack of mockery. “O-Oh.”

 

“So, what do you say?” The younger sounds a lot more nervous now, “You up for chocolate milkshakes and strawberries?”

 

Jihoon laughs softly, “Well I’m not gonna turn down a date with the  _president_.”

 

Woojin nods, satisfied. But despite the confidence on his face, Jihoon can see the tip of his ears turn pink, “Good choice.” The younger stands up and holds a hand out for him to take, pulling him up to his feet and keeping their hands locked together as they head towards the door. "You know, I think I should introduce you to Jinyoung next."

 

"You really want to see someone fight me, don't you?"

 

"Maybe." 

 

Jihoon huffs, then changes the tone of his voice, "I could think of other ways to give you some action." 

 

Woojin stops in his tracks, turning to face him. "On second thought, maybe we should stay home tonight." 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

_why don't we rewrite the stars_

_changing the world to be ours_

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was terrible i hate this 
> 
> sorry to the prompter for not having them be roommates in the fic, i just liked it better and thought it worked a lot nicer if they weren't. but to be fair, the tower room is practically _their_ room, ya feel? 
> 
> its very limited on the romance aspect because a sequel may be in the air if it's requested and if there are a lot of people unsatisfied with the ending
> 
>  
> 
> follow me on twitter [@holywoojin](https://twitter.com/holywoojin) for fic updates and progress threads and leave questions/requests in my [cc!](https://curiouscat.me/holywoojin)


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